Tales on Christmas
by 1Aryana
Summary: Iruka, Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke are all together this Christmas. Each of them has a story to tell, whether appropriate or not. Very short chapters.
1. Intro

**I have a nice new story for everyone! This is a Christmas present and will have a total of 5-6 small chapters. Enjoy it and Happy Holidays!**

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Iruka handed out steaming cups of cocoa to the three men gathered in his living room before settling onto the couch with Kakashi. The tree glittered before them all and it was nice and silent. After a few minutes Naruto began to squirm, Kakashi soon doing the same. Iruka sighed, but smiled; it was nice while it lasted. He had just started to wonder who would speak up first when Kakashi smiled.

"I think now would be a great time to tell stories!" He said with malicious glee. Naruto grinned, readily agreeing. Sasuke and Iruka both looked at them suspiciously.

"What stories?" Iruka eyes his boyfriend warily.

"Just fun little stories of something that happened within the year. We could each tell one. Oh, and everyone has to promise not to interrupt!" He grinned.

"We should so do that!" Naruto eagerly piped up. Sasuke sighed and turned to face them.

"Fine." Everyone looked at Iruka and he caved.

"All right, fine. Who wants to start?"

"I will!" Kakashi almost sang. "I'm going to call this story… Clean Up, Aisle Desire!"

"Aisle what?!"

"Now now, no interrupting." Iruka glared at the smug man as he began the story.

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**Okay, intro done! Now, who wants to know Kakashi's story?**


	2. Clean Up, Aisle Desire

**Again, the chapters are super short. Enjoy Kakashi's storytelling!**

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I decided to take Iruka out for lunch, nothing fancy. We got sandwiches and sat in the corner table away from everyone else. Luckily it wasn't too crowded. When we unwrapped our sandwiches we found out they were, well, unattractive to say the least. They might as well have been oozing whatever was in them. Not the most romantic meal, but not the worst we've had. So we start to eat them anyway, trying to keep them together and not make a mess. I offered to scare the owners into making better food, but Iruka said that would be rude and threatened to complain to Gai. The owners safe we continued to eat. Next thing I know Iruka is cursing and setting the slop down, staring at his lap. Obviously he spilled so being the kind and considerate person that I am, I took the napkins and went to kneel next to him, offering to clean it for him. Well, to my eternal delight, the sauce had landed around his zipper. I just couldn't resist. So, naturally, I ditched the napkins in favor of licking him clean. Very hard to do, mind you, when he grabs onto me and tries to push me off. Admirable strength when he actually uses it, but I didn't make jounin rank with my good looks. So when I got most of it off I just happened to pull the zipper down and a little sauce got in there. He resumed his tugging on my hair, which was really starting to hurt by now. I had to work fast and distract him or risk losing my hair, which meant I had to use my hands too. I got the button undone and made it to my prize when he spoke.

"Kakashi! What do you think you're doing?!" He said in a harsh whisper. "We're in public! Someone could see…" He moaned beautifully then, but still continued to argue. "Stop, not here…" I finally managed to get him to stop complaining and the death grip on my hair loosened. The headache and yelling that I suffered through that night was worth it. He was delicious and definitely better than the sandwiches. Although, mixing his taste into it wasn't bad either. The end!

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Kakashi grinned at Naruto's stunned face and Sasuke's smirk. He then turned to Iruka's furious and bright red face.

"Kakashi…" He voice was low and deadly and Kakashi winced, almost regretting it. Almost. He did when Iruka suddenly smiled, making his heart freeze. "I'll tell the next story." His eyes glittered dangerously, "It's called Wrapping Wraps Back."

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**^^ Oh Kakashi, you evil creature. But you are facing off against Iruka now. Hope everyone liked it!**


	3. Wrapping Wraps Back

**All right! Who's ready for Iruka's story!**

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This happened on Naruto's birthday, so not too long ago. As you know I had gotten a few gifts for him. Now, it was a very busy week at the Academy and there had been an incident two days earlier in the mission office causing a lot of backed up paperwork. I had more to do than during testing. With all the work to do, and knowing how bad Kakashi is with paperwork, I had stayed late at the office. I got off in time to nap an hour before going back to the Academy. By the time I made it home I was exhausted, but still had to wrap the gifts. Kakashi was just laying on the couch and barely glanced at me until I dropped my bag of work on the floor and sat at the table to wrap. I had barely started the first one when he grabbed my hands. I glanced up at him and when he asked what I was doing I pointed to the table. Obviously wrapping gifts. He pulled me out of the chair and pointed to the bedroom, volunteering to wrap them for me so I could get some sleep. I readily accepted. Now, before that I didn't know that wrapping paper and ribbon could actually dislike someone. Never crossed my mind that Kakashi could have angered inanimate objects. So I was astounded when I woke two hours later and came out to see the entire kitchen covered in patches of paper, ribbon, bows, and tape. With all the carnage I didn't see Kakashi at first. When I finally did spot him I couldn't help but laugh. He matched the rest of the kitchen: completely covered. I had to quickly pull myself together because he was visibly upset. Well, as visibly upset as he could be when covered in brightly colored paper and ribbon. It seriously looked like all the wrapping supplies had either exploded or attacked him. There were patches of paper stuck everywhere, both crumpled and smooth. Tape was wrapped around his torso and arm, with smaller patched in his hair. And ribbon… ribbon absolutely everywhere. I didn't know we had that much ribbon, but the way it looked I wouldn't have been surprised if it had multiplied. When Kakashi walked over I could hear the paper crinkling, but the shower of stuff that fell off when he shook himself was astounding. He handed me what I assumed was a wrapped present. Hesitantly, I took it from him and put it in the living room, letting him try and scrape himself off in the kitchen. I could hear cursing and paper tearing before he came back out stark naked and went into the bedroom. But I did manage to see some ribbon and tape on his back, and even a bit in the crack of his ass. It was unfathomably difficult not to laugh at him. It was impossibly not to be appalled when he came back and I tried to move some of the ribbon to make the gift look even a little better and it fell apart. And I don't mean the paper or the ribbon came off. I mean the paper fell off in shreds, the ribbon flew off like rubber bands, and the gift itself was laying in the midst in pieces. It was absolutely destroyed. I turned towards a meek Kakashi slowly and he backed up. I looked him up and down, took a deep breathe, and went to take a picture of the kitchen to remind me why he should never again wrap presents for me. I then sent him in there to clean while I quickly wrapped the remaining gifts. The end.

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Iruka smiled as Naruto laughed, clenching his gut from it. Sasuke was just stifling his laughter, and Kakashi was both embarrassed and furious.

"You were never to tell anyone about that!" Iruka raised a brow.

"Oh sorry Kakashi. I thought it was free game after your story." Kakashi gritted his teeth.

"Fine… You know, for your birthday I'll just wrap myself up." Iruka laughed.

"Oh no Kakashi, I would hate to see what would fall off then!" The room erupted in laughter as Kakashi's ears turned red.

"Okay, okay! Who's next?" The laughter lessened to quiet chuckles and Naruto grinned.

"I'll go next! Mine's called… Another use of clones! Yeah!"

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**Hahahahhaa! ^^ Okay, Naruto's up next!**


	4. Another use of clones

**All right darlings, who's ready for Naruto's story! :D**

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All right! So this happened about two weeks ago, before it got really cold or anything. So I was out shopping and had made a couple clones to make it easier and dragged Sasuke with me. He was in one of his moods and really just making it harder than it had to be. I think he actually was the reason people were avoiding us. So I was almost done when he decided to be a total ass and go with one of his old fan girls. Either that or he was a total idiot. So anyway I suddenly look around for him to see if he saw anything he wanted and he was gone. I was super mad so I sent the clones home to drop everything off before going to look for him. It took me almost an hour to find him and scare the fan girl away. I think she drugged him because he was completely out of it. I pulled him back onto the nearly empty streets and when he didn't snap out of it I punched him. In my defense I was still pretty mad that he had ditched me in the first place. Anyway, it brought him back and instead of thanking me or even asking what happened the bastard attacked me! Normally I would just beat his ass, but it's the holidays and in the middle of the street. Luckily I still had clones around and we managed to drag him around the corner. During the struggle we realized that Sasuke's clothes were torn, and now were even worse. His shirt was ripped across the chest giving of a wonderful view, and the waistband of his pants had a large tear, making them slip down some. I wanted to stay mad at him, but the sight of him being held by my clones with that much skin showing was impossible to resist. He had been glaring at me while I was… ah… assessing the situation. He glares a lot so it didn't bother me too much. And it was fun to change the glare into pleasure. I walked over and tugged on the tear in his shirt, hearing it rip to show off a bit more. With a grin I reached down and pulled at his ruined waistband, letting it slip the rest of the way off. My clones were having fun leaving hickeys and feeling under his shirt while I slipped my hand down and into his underwear to grab his- mmph!"

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A bright red Sasuke held his hand furiously over the blonde's mouth. Naruto could see Kakashi's amused face and Iruka looked aghast. Sasuke's fingers dug harder into his cheek.

"Not. One. More. Word." Sasuke's voice was barely contained fury and Naruto nodded meekly, relieved when the hand slowly moved away. Once Sasuke had sat back down he grinned.

"Aw man, I was just getting to the good part!" A barrage of knives were thrown at him and he yelped. "Okay, okay! I give!" Kakashi smiled and held his hands up.

"Okay children, that's enough. You can kill each other after the holidays. Now Sasuke, I think it's your turn to tell a, probably embarrassing for your partner, story." Sasuke didn't look up, but smirked at Naruto.

"All right. My story is called Kitchen Fiasco; Dinner Detained." Naruto gulped as he began.

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**Well? Naruto's not the worst story teller now is he? Sasuke just had to stop him... Oh well, anyone excited for Sasuke's?**


	5. Kitchen Fiasco Dinner Detained

**Finally! I've been trying to post this all day! Anyway, here is Sasuke's story! Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!**

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Naruto and I had bet on target practice and the loser had to cook dinner. And it couldn't be ramen or salad, respectively. Naturally I won and he wasn't too happy about it. Too bad for him, but I was sick of cooking and he never does. He complained the entire way home, but it didn't do him any good. With a frown firmly in place he stalked off to the kitchen and rummaged around. After about ten minutes he shouted out saying he was just going to make a stir-fry. Which I took to mean he was just going to throw whatever he could find in a pan. I remember thinking how we should've let the winner choose the meal when there was a small explosion and Naruto started yelling. I calmly went to the kitchen, thinking that the idiot had blown the microwave or something equally ridiculous. I had to close my eyes at first due to the smoke, and then again in shock. I couldn't believe what was before me. The microwave was intact, but my stove was… gone. There was a smoldering hole where it used to be and Naruto's clothes were still burning as he rolled around the floor, getting covered in soot. It would've been almost comical had my stove not been incinerated. Even the counters, and basically everything that had been nearby, was, at the very least, charred. A few minutes of me staring at the mess and Naruto finally stood. It was beyond even my abilities to stop from laughing. He was covered in soot, his clothes in tatters, his hair no longer blond, and a half abashed, half angry look was plastered on his face. I quickly pulled myself together and pointed at the hole. He glanced at it and held his hands up, offering a quick apology. He wasn't getting off that easily. However, I wasn't in the mood to make him go buy a new stove right then just to destroy that one as well. After forcing a promise out of him we went to town for dinner instead. We had just stepped outside when he realized what I knew all ready. He still hadn't changed. Which meant that he had just stepped outside, where quite a few people were walking past, and the main thing covering him was the soot. He ran back inside as people stared at him, some pointing, others laughing, while children were hurried away. Never did get dinner that night. The end.

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Sasuke smirked at Naruto's horrified face as Kakashi mocked him and Iruka tried to hide his laughter. Naruto finally sputtered and pointed accusingly at him.

"You-you were planning this! You're such a jerk!" Sasuke shrugged.

"Did you really think I wouldn't tell something like that? You're lucky that's all I said." Naruto's face turned bright red and he turned away from him to glare at Kakashi.

"What're you laughing at Mr. Gift-wrapper?" That shut Kakashi up and everyone stared at each other before Iruka finally got up.

"All right, that's enough. Everyone has had a story told about them that they would rather have never spoken of again. Now, some of us have to work in morning so I need my living room cleared out so I can go to bed. Go on, scat!" Naruto and Sasuke disappeared and Kakashi stretched out on the couch.

"Glad I don't have to work." Iruka's eyes focused dangerously on the languid man.

"Oh really? I haven't forgotten that you're the one that started all of that. So, how are you going to make it up to me exactly?"

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**Mwahahaha! Hope you all enjoyed it! That's all for this story! Happy Holidays everyone!**


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